


Aspirations

by fireflysglow_archivist



Category: Firefly
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-03-31
Updated: 2003-03-31
Packaged: 2019-04-29 06:39:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14467128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fireflysglow_archivist/pseuds/fireflysglow_archivist
Summary: Feeling better, River sets out after what she wants





	Aspirations

**Author's Note:**

> Note from alice ttlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Firefly’s Glow](https://fanlore.org/wiki/Firefly%27s_Glow), and was moved to the AO3 as part of the Open Doors project in 2018. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are the creator and would like to claim this work, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Firefly's Glow collection profile](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/fireflysglow/profile).

 

Aspirations

## Aspirations

### by deementedb

Aspirations 

Pairing River/Jayne   
Rating R-NC17 some swearing, some sexual situations -this part R only Feedback: Yes please deementedb@aol.com Archive: fine with me.   
Disclaimers: Characters are not mine, just moving them around to my liking Spoilers: all episodes aired  
Notes: This didn't go exactly as planned, as usual kept getting bigger and bigger, lost my beta so excuse the sentence structure. Just thought River would be much more interesting not sick, probably a force to be reckoned with, and she does go good with Jayne IMHO. This is just part one, mostly finished just have to finish typing it in. 

Up. Down. Up. Down. Puff of breath. She watched mesmerized as a drop of sweat glided across the sheen of taut muscle, winding it's way over hills and planes, sluicing it's way down to its final destination, to be absorbed along with its predecessors into damp cotton. 

Her breath hitched as a sigh shuddered from her lips. She hugged her knees tighter to her chest, watching the men unnoticed though she was but a few feet away. She dragged her eyes from the pumping arms, over the broad chest and flat stomach, her eyes finally settled on flexing thighs, knee length shorts riding high, fabric shifting in time to small grunts. 

She felt the familiar yet confusing butterflies flutter through her body, resulting in a pleasant aching throb that spread heat throughout her, flushing her neck and cheeks. A clink of metal signaled the end of what had become a twice daily routine, shaking her out of a daze as she rose on shaky legs, bracing herself with a hand on the crate she had been sitting along side of. 

Her eyes locked with the man who had just finished his long set of weight lifting. The man scowled quizzically at her, causing another flash of heat creeping up her as her heart thumped faster. She dropped her eyes from his, hair covering her face as she quickly padded on bare feet out of the cargo hold. 

"What the ruttin hell's that about?" Jayne asked as he looked over at his spotter. 

Shepard Book was already changing the weights for his turn of sets. "Don't know exactly, spect lack of work has made us the only entertainment around here, she's been here every workout." He finished adjusting the weights and positioned himself on the bench press. 

Jayne looked toward the exit of the cargo hold where River had made her hasty retreat. "Just kinda creepy havin her around, knowin she can see inside a feller's head" 

Book nodded as he grasped the bar over his head. "It is mystifying thinking that. One's mind has always been a sanctuary, it is disturbing to believe someone can breech that. Though I believe it was something done to her, not her doing." Jayne watched as Book started pumping the weight. "Just sayin when she starts spillin the things she sees... gonna change everythin." 

River fled down the corridor, her heartbeat returning to normal. The past few weeks had been exhilarating and strange. Simon's latest mixture of drugs had helped stabilize her somewhat. The incoming onslaught of others thoughts and emotions separated from her own, helping her keep things in a kind of perspective. She now was able to differentiate her emotions from the rest of the crew's. 

She wandered down the corridor, her hand skimming the smooth cool metal walls; she stopped in front of Zoe and Wash's bunk, a wave of desire slipping through her. She flattened her hand against the hatch, concentrating on the pleasure radiating from the married lovers room. Her eyes closed as her breath shortened, her body temperature rose as she felt her nipples tighten underneath her gauzy dress. Her head tilted back as she swayed to the beat of her throbbing body. 

She was jolted from her swoon by the sound of boots and Kaylee's perky laugh. She quickly pulled her hand from the hatch, continuing down towards what she knew was Simon and Kaylee around the corner. She tried to walk past them but of course Simon would not let her pass. 

"River? What have you been up to?" Simon tilted her bowed head taking in her flushed cheeks. "Are you feeling alright? Do you have a fever?" He went into instant Dr. mode, covering her forehead with his palm. 

River squirmed from his touch; she silently reminded herself that her brother couldn't know what she was feeling. She smiled weakly "Not sick. Tired. Nap." She pointed in the direction of their bunk. 

Simon pulled a small notepad from his pocket, quickly jotting down her symptoms. River frowned and snatched the pen from his hand. "Simon" She whined, holding the pen from him. "River" Simon used his stern tone. "You know I have to keep track of the side effects to get the best combination for you to feel better." River sighed, handing the pen back to her brother, she placed a smile she didn't feel on her face. "Don't worry Simon, everything's shiny, just a little tired. No side effects, I promise." Simon pushed her hair gently from her face. "Okay, Mei-Mei. You take your nap. I'll call you for dinner." 

River felt the admiration of her brother rolling off of Kaylee in waves; she looked pointedly between the two finally settling her eyes on Kaylee. A giggle slipped from her lips as she wagged her finger at the two. "Behave yourselves." She left heading for her bunk. 

The Captain stepped into the mess. The bulk of his crew, plus the ship's companion, were gathered around the table. He noted that Zoe and Wash were absent as they had been frequently since entering a second honeymoon phase. Mal poured himself a cup of coffee and joined them. 

He addressed the young Dr. first, "Doc, where's your sister?" 

Simon answered as he pulled out his notebook, knowing what was coming. "She's taking a nap." 

The Captain replied "Shiny. Good time then fer a little progress report." Mal commanded everyone's attention. "Right then, before you start spinnin my head with yer fancy medical words Doc, how about anyone else? How's she seem to you all?" 

Inara was the first to speak. "She seems much better, more inquisitive. We had a complete conversation about my profession." 

Simon's eyebrows shot up as he opened his mouth to comment. Inara cut him off with a wave of her hand and a roll of her eyes. " I didn't go into detail, though she seemed very interested and had many appropriate questions." 

Mal chuckled at Simon's obvious discomfort. "Don't fret Doc, that's probably one of the more normal things she's done. She is after all a teenager." 

Kaylee jumped in. "Right, cos Companion's is a glamorous life, beautiful clothes, fancy men that take you places and give you presents." 

Jayne sneered "yeah, give ya money, and take ya to bed." 

"Jayne!" Mal snapped "not the point here. This is about River. If you don't got nothin to add..." 

Jayne cut in "I got somethin to add. That... girl been watchin us." He pointed at Shepard Book. "Ya know, when we work out." 

Mal looked over to Shepard Book for confirmation. "It's true, she has been around for the past couple of weeks, but she hasn't bothered us." Book said. 

Jayne spoke up. "It's creepy, she stares." 

Kaylee giggled at Jayne's concern. "Ooohhhh Jayne, maybe she likes heroes." 

Jayne, Mal, and Simon shot Kaylee warning looks. "Aww, C'mon, I'm only kidding. She got nothin ta do sometimes" she explained. 

Mal continued on" Right, now Doc, what you got on your mind?" Simon flipped through his notebook and gave Mal his report. 

River's sleep was almost always filled with dreams of Jayne, Jayne working out alone, no shirt, hard granite muscles flexing under the sheen of perspiration: his grunts somehow speaking volumes to her. She dreamed of being invisible, standing next to him, close enough to feel the heat of his exertion. Longing to draw patterns on his damp taut skin, rub her soft cheek against the roughness of his beard. Some dreams he would hold her close, dancing expertly, her feet atop his or weightless as he held her off the floor, spinning, somewhere underneath the stars. In her dreams he was still gruff, strong and protective. In her dreams he would never let blue hands touch her. 

The next week brought small adjustments to her medication. Simon was excited thinking he was so close to finding the right dose, the right combination. She sought out others more often, the crew's wariness of her decreasing as she cleverly sifted information she picked up on them, asking questions, the right questions to ease their minds. Some believed her medication thwarted whatever psychic abilities she may have had since she no longer randomly spouted things she could not possibly know. 

She became more productive, helping in the mess whenever it was Kaylee's, Books' or Simon's turn to cook. She knew regular meetings were held without her to track her progress. She did not resent them but thought it time to have her say. She sought out the Captain... he probably understood her best. Simon saw her as his "innocent" little sister. Kaylee was a friend, a playmate, but neither of them saw her as she really was. She knew Jayne did. He feared her abilities. He didn't see her as a helpless little girl. She was a threat to him in his mind. Expert shot. Mind reader. He, along with Zoe, believed she was being trained as an assassin for the Alliance. They were not far off. She wished she could ease Jayne's mind over what he had done, she meant to discuss it with Mal, the Captain or as she sometimes thought of him 'Captain Daddy'. Simon had heard her refer to Malcolm Reynolds that way and chastised her. He had said "He is not our father, River, you know that." She had told him "He takes care of us, watches out for us, we are a family and he is the head of the family, Captain Daddy." Simon couldn't argue her logic but pleaded with her not to call him that. 

River knocked on the hatch to Mal's bunk. She heard him say enter and quickly climbed down into his room. Mal was surprised it was River at his door. 

"River, how ya doin? Something I can help you with?" Mal asked. 

River smiled at the Captain, he had no illusions about her, genuinely liked her and had no secrets he was ashamed of. "Progress report. I want to give you one. We can talk about it right?" 

Mal looked her over. She seemed lucid enough, serious in his opinion. He offered her the only chair in his room, opting to lean against the wall. "That's a right good idea, go to the source. Shoulda thought of it my own self. What's on your mind." 

River giggled, feeling completely safe with Mal. "That's a loaded question" she replied. 

Mal laughed along with her "S'pose it is, but you got a reason, I take it, for coming to me?" 

River lost her smile. She looked at her hands in her lap, her hair falling to shield her face. " I... I want to help. I want to be part of the crew, your crew." 

Mal's face showed how serious he was when he said "You are, you and your brother are part of my crew. Just like everyone else." 

River gave him a grateful smile. "I have no job, Simon's the Doctor, everyone has their job. I can help. I know things." 

Mal was silent for a moment. "I know you do. I'll think somethin up for you, duties I mean. Don't rightly know offhand what I can ask our resident genius ta do. I'll talk it over with Simon, see if he has any ideas." 

River laughed "Resident Genius? Shiny!" She turned serious again as she said "Captain, I think you do have some things you want me to help with. Simon might not approve. I am getting better, I can help you, I know it." 

Mal sighed. "I got some ideas, just don't know how smart it would be. Don't know how ya work." 

River nodded her understanding "You know that I know about Jayne, what he really did on Ariel?" 

They both looked at each other for a long moment before Mal spoke "Suspected ya knew... your brother?" 

"No, not Simon." River explained "You, Simon... you both want to protect me. Some things you can't protect me from. Simon can't know. He is so scared for me, for us. He thinks Jayne saved us and he did. If he knew... he wouldn't feel safe. He worries too much." 

"That he does" Mal agreed. 

River went on "I want to tell him, Jayne I mean, that I forgive him. He worries that I know, he thinks I might tell the others." 

The hair on the back of Mal's neck stood straight, he stopped leaning on the wall. "Don't know if that's a good idea, River. I wanna be able to trust Jayne." 

River jumped in "Like you trust Zoe?" 

Mal continued "I spect that will never happen. Jayne. It would be dangerous to completely trust Jayne. Jayne has his job to help us out, but it's only a job to him." 

River jumped from her seat. "No. No, he is so sorry, he wants to be forgiven. Not by me or Simon, but by you. He is feeling so guilty for crossing you. .Maybe if I forgive him, he won't be so scared, so angry." 

Mal smiled wryly "Spect a little fear and humbling might be good for him. I'll think on that too. We done here? Anything else on your mind?" 

River accepted that the Captain had a need to end their conversation. "No Sir, you're telling Simon about this aren't you?" 

Mal saw no need to lie to her. "You know I will, dontcha?" 

"Yes, sir" she replied. 

"Reckon he wont mind I check with ya myself. He don't need to know everything we talk about though, you understand?" 

River gave Mal a quick hug and smile. "I do, I really understand, You'll see Captain, you can trust me... and Jayne too." She scampered up the rungs out of his bunk. 

River was more discreet while watching Jayne and Book work out. She would bring something to read, some paper to draw on or a journal to write in. She would still be at most every session, though Jayne had tried changing the times they met, she always found out when, she always looked busy while there. Sometimes Book would comment on what she was reading or compliment her on her drawing. 

She had started leaving a few minutes before the end of the workout only to return with a cold drink for both men, along with the sweetest smile she could produce. At first Jayne would refuse her offering, looking suspiciously into the tumbler. 

"Wouldn't poison you" River voiced his concern. "Captain wouldn't like that. Don't want to neither." 

Book took the drink from Jayne, offering his own in return. "Course you wouldn't, dear." 

River offered, "I'm a valuable member of the crew." 

Book agreed, "Of course you are." 

Jayne scoffed, taking a hesitant swig of the drink in his hand. "Yeah? What's your job little girl, chief pain in the..." 

"Jayne!" Book cut him off. 

River collected the glasses from them. "I'm the resident genius!" she said proudly as she stalked out of the cargo bay. 

River's dreams of Jayne continued to plague her. She had no one to talk to about them. Kaylee and Simon were the two closest to her but they wouldn't understand. She had tried to broach the subject with Inara but felt the companion's unease. She realized her attraction to Jayne, but tried to rationalize it. He was strong, handsome, in a rough way, he spoke his mind. Jayne knew his strengths and weaknesses. River thought they were a natural match, his brute force, her vast knowledge. They were both trained alike whether anyone but her knew that or not. She wanted something from him, exactly what she wasn't sure. 

She had felt and studied the other relationships on Serenity. The mutual respect and passion that Wash and Zoe shared, though they seemed opposites, they complimented and completed each other. 

Kaylee and her brother were both attracted to each other. They danced around it. Simon was the one holding back. He feared their different backgrounds would eventually be too much to overcome, that if he started something with Kaylee and it didn't work out, he and River would be asked to leave. Simon always did what was best for the both of them. 

Then there was Mal and Inara, both harbored a strong love for the other. Neither would openly admit it, barely even to themselves. Mal was tormented by her position. She willingly took money for the use of her body. Mal could not ever stand for sharing her. Inara would give up being a companion for Mal, if he would only ask her, declare his love. They were at an impasse. 

Nothing in the relationships on Serenity offered her any insight on how she could get closer to Jayne. 

Adjustments to her medication brought strength to River, not physical strength, but stronger desires, a stronger confidence in herself. She was still present at every workout, still brought them a cool drink afterwards. She occasionally joined in on conversations, helped wherever she could. She noted what Jayne liked to eat and started experimenting with cooking, using him as her taste tester. She considered it a personal victory when Jayne requested a soup she had made the week before based on his likes. Mal gave her a rotation in the meal preparation, cutting Jayne's turn much to everyone's relief. 

Her first night to cook dinner she insisted on doing it all herself, she didn't consider cooking hard. What was challenging was making meals that tasted good and were different from the previous meal when the ingredients were basically the same. She had to chase Simon out of the mess at least three times as he hovered near the entrance, worried she was undertaking too much. 

She beamed when everyone complimented her cooking. Simon was so proud of her. Cooking and her sudden interest in her treatment along with the way she now interacted with the crew made him feel successful in her cure. He knew he was on the right track and if she stayed stable she would more than likely be able to help him find a permanent cure. She had been reading up through the cortex on every drug they had on board. She had read every medical text he had. She was changing by leaps and bounds from the scared, unbalanced girl she had been only a month ago. His heart swelled for her, and he felt blessed for finding a group of people that had stood by her in her darkest moments. 

A few nights later the crew was again gathered at the dinner table, the conversation was about a job that Mal had turned down. Jayne was anxious to have something to do besides work out. Jayne had taken the refusal of the job and the reason Mal had passed on it personal. 

Jayne argued, "Mal, we could do it. We need to keep ahead, just cos we're shiny right now..." 

Mal argued back "Why you questionin me, Jayne? Told ya we don't have enough manpower. We would be taking too much of a risk, leaving too much open. You're good Jayne, but nobody's that good." 

Jayne looked around the table. "Sure if ya only count me, you, and Zoe. What about Wash? Shepard here's a decent shot too, both already proved themselves." 

Zoe jumped in. "Jayne, Captain said no. 'Sides Wash is the pilot, Shepard's our... shepard, not their job." 

Jayne shot back "We all chip in on what needs done. Probably got yer best shot cooking dinner." 

"Jayne!" Mal yelled warningly. 

"Don't even think about it" Simon hissed. 

"Everyone calm down." Kaylee pleaded. 

River felt a jolt of delight. Jayne thought she was the best shot. She looked around when it suddenly grew quiet, everyone looking at her for her reaction. She smiled briefly at Jayne then turned towards Mal. "Rule #1. No touching guns." she recited. 

"Right. That's exactly right, River. No touchin guns." Mal said. 

Kaylee sighed, "I'm no good with a weapon, we all know that." She looked a little ashamed. 

Mal swore in Chinese "See what ya started. Gorramit, Jayne." He turned towards Kaylee "You are Serenity's mechanic. Don't need ya toting no gun. In fact Rule #1 applies to you too." 

Simon joined the conversation. "Does it apply to me too? Look Mal, I completely agree to Rule #1 for River, but if our recent run-in with Niska taught me anything, it's that Kaylee and I are unprepared for combat. Not that we aren't willing or anything, we're just not very good." 

Kaylee agreed, "I'd likely feel safer if I knew how to use a gun or knife. That whole thing with Early gettin on Serenity..." She didn't continue. 

Simon picked up where she left off." Mal, sometimes you, Jayne and Zoe are off on a job, leaves us to our own defenses." 

Wash agreed. "Wouldn't mind improving my skills. Mean, hey, we should all be capable. Don't mean we give up our regular jobs." 

Mal gave in. "Fine, that don't mean you will ever go on jobs. Folks, this is not a democracy. Majority does not rule. I am the Captain of Serenity, what I say goes. Jayne will teach anyone who wants everything he knows bout weapons. Right, Jayne?" 

Jayne agreed reluctantly, Mal's voice was granite. 

"Jayne don't you EVER second guess me again." 

Jayne calmly said "Sorry Mal, I din't mean nothin by it." 

Everyone quickly left to get away from the tension Mal's anger had built. 

The next day Jayne was busy dismantling a crate, his plan was to make a target for knife practice. He thought Kaylee was right. She should have some kind of weapon since apparently Serenity was not completely safe even floatin through space. He wouldn't get to show her or the Doc anything about guns besides how to hold one till they hit planet side. 

He was occupied with the thick side of a tall crate he had laid on the floor. He couldn't decide what type of target to make. He never noticed River sidling up to him. 

"What you doing?" River asked. 

Jayne startled. "Gorramit! Don't you know better than to sneak up on the likes of me?" 

River smiled and watched as Jayne tried drawing a bulls eye on the wood. "What's that for?" She asked again as Jayne readied a saw to cut the pattern out. 

Jayne answered. "Makin a target. Show yer brother and Kaylee how to shoot a crossbow, throw a knife. Ya know, make some use of themselves in case of emergency, which we seem to have plenty of." 

"Should make it in the shape of a person, more real than a big circle." River suggested. 

Jayne looked up at her. "Why you think that? Oh yeah, resident genius right?" He looked back at his circle. 

"Resident genius assassin to you" She joked. 

Jayne's head snapped around to look at her. She smiled to let him know she was kidding. 

"That's right funny little girl, why'nt you draw a man on this? You're the artist around here." Jayne said as he tossed the chalk he had been drawing with at her. River snatched it from the air without looking. 

"Lay down" she requested. 

"What?" Jayne's voice rose surprised. 

She raised the chalk "I'll trace you, it will be quick. C'mon lay down." 

Jayne placed himself on the board. River started on his left side at his shoulder, she quickly traced to his feet. She held the chalk so that as she traced him her hand was brushing against him. She moved to the other side and did the same. Her heart sped up and she shuddered when the skin on the back of her hand scrapped against the stubble of his beard. Jayne closed his eyes quickly when she kneeled over his head. He noticed she wore no underwear beneath her usual loose cotton dress. He felt guilty at the stirring in his pants. 

"Hurry it up there." he said. 

River sped up the process. She was feeling lightheaded over finally getting to touch Jayne. All she had left to do were the legs. She increased the pressure of her hand against him as she began to trace the inside legs. Jayne sat up quickly grabbing her wrist soon after she reached the first knee. 

"That's enough." he said brusquely. He looked incredulously at her, seeing something he couldn't quite believe in her eyes. "What you think yer doin?" he asked. 

River blushed. She shook with the excitement of Jayne touching her. "Just... just helping." She stammered. 

Jayne released her wrist. He looked at the teenager wondering if he had just imagined what he thought he saw. Maybe he had just thought he saw lust in her eyes. It was probably him reading something not there into an innocent situation. "I gotta go and do something." Jayne made a hasty retreat. 

River looked down at the nearly finished tracing of Jayne, she kneeled and quickly finished it. Her mind was occupied by the sensations she had felt. She picked up the saw Jayne had left behind, turning it on she started cutting the pattern out. She went over ways to get closer to Jayne. She had to have more. His hair had been the only softness on him, everything was firm, hard. She had wanted to run her hands over all of him. She wanted to take her time and feel every inch of him. There had to be a way. Jayne would not respond to her willingly she knew. He didn't understand how well matched they could be. He thought of her as too young, too crazy, more trouble than she was worth. 

She had changed. The way he and the rest of the crew saw her had changed also. She no longer felt so lost. Simon was making good on his promise to help her. She was slowly becoming herself; not the person Simon knew, but a person she had begun to accept. The things the Academy had done to her, taught her, could be valuable to someone besides the Alliance, could make a valuable addition to Serenity's crew. She knew she had to prove herself, to Mal, to Jayne. She didn't worry about the rest of the crew, that would not be difficult. 

What she wanted would hurt Simon, but it was inevitable, only a matter of time. The sooner he saw her true self the better for all concerned. She decided it was time. Time for Jayne to know how she felt. Time for Mal to know how cunning she could be. She plotted her next course of action as she finished cutting the wood. She cleaned up the area and went in search of materials to finish the job. 

The crew was seated around the table having dinner. It was Shepard Book's turn in the mess. He said a quick grace before everyone began to dig in. Jayne was still disturbed about his encounter with River in the cargo bay, so much so that he had canceled his workout with the Shepard. Mal asked if Jayne had any ideas about training the Doc and Kaylee. Jayne glanced at River briefly before answering. 

"Yeah, Mal. Started working on a target, figure we could start with knives, crossbows, show em how to hold, load, and clean a gun at least till we get planet side. Can't shoot inside the ship safely." 

Mal nodded "Good idea, cept the loadin part, accidents happen specially round here." 

Jayne agreed "Ya right bout that. I'll finish that target after dinner." 

River stated, "Finished it. All done. You'll like it." She smiled at Jayne. 

Mal looked at River. "Really? Why, ain't you all kinds of helpful lately. We'll check it out after dinner then." 

The crew made it's way down to the cargo hold after dinner, more to support River's contributions than any need to see a target. The target was in the corner, near a crate. They all stared. 

"Oh wow. That's really good River" Kaylee exclaimed. "So real looking." Kaylee ran over to examine it closer. Simon was speechless, staring at his glowing sister. She had painted the target to resemble an Alliance soldier, complete with an exact depiction of Alliance purple body armor. 

Mal approached it, a wide smile on his face, he grabbed on to the target, shaking it to test its sturdiness. "Good job!" he pronounced, checking the back to see it well braced. 

Wash circled it once, hands on his hips "Might want to take a stab at it myself. Get it? Knife. Target. Stab?" 

Zoe rolled her eyes "Yes dear, we get it. It is kinda spooky." She paced back and forth in front of it. "Eyes kinda follow you." 

Simon had been silent, staring at his sister as she bounced on her feet, smile glowing as she enjoyed the crew's reaction to her efforts. 

Later that evening Simon came over and sat on River's bed for their ritual good-night talk and sedative. He handed her the capsule and glass of water, "You are really making progress River, I'm so proud. Cooking, carpentry, studying pharmaceuticals. What's next?" 

River toyed with the capsule in her hand as she looked at her brother. "This is all your doing Simon, you said you would help me and you are. I feel so much better. I can try everything, I can do anything I want." 

Simon's smile faded, "You know we still have to keep a low profile River. I wish we could come and go as we please, but we are still fugitives." 

"It's alright Simon. I like it here." she said. 

Simon pushed the hair from her face. "I want so much for you. I know you must be bored much of the time. Maybe Kaylee could show you how to fix engines." 

She smiled, "Or Wash could show me how to fly Serenity." 

Simon laughed "Hmm, Shepardess?" 

River scoffed "Never! Companion?" she giggled. 

"Not funny!" Simon wagged his finger at her. 

"That leaves mercenary-hired gun. Got the training already." she said baiting her brother. 

Simon's smile was strained, not sure about how much she was kidding. "Be kind of difficult considering the Captain's Rule #1," he teased as they both said in unison "No Touching Guns." 

Simon motioned for her to take her pill, which she did quickly, handing him the glass after a sip. She wiggled down beneath the cover, making herself comfortable. "Captain Daddy already gave me a job, the best job." 

Simon had already turned down the lights and was about to close the partition between their rooms. "Don't call him that" he scolded. "What job did Mal give you?" 

"Resident Genius" she answered. 

"Resident genius? What exactly does that job entail?" Simon asked softly . "Don't know exactly. Maybe thinking up profitable crimes like my brother, leave him free for his Doctoring." She teased. 

Simon enjoyed the banter "Brat, already plotting to take my job?" 

River replied "We'll team up, make Serenity the most infamous ship ever." 

Simon shook his head, "Oh no, making big plan's already? Should I warn Mal?" 

River snuggled into her pillow, not bothering to answer her brother's question. "Good night Simon." 

"Good Night River." Simon closed the partition. River immediately took the capsule from her mouth. She placed it with a dozen of the same pills in a box she kept under her pillow. 

Jayne had planned Simon and Kaylee's first lesson for after dinner the next night. The target was set up, the knives ready to go. The only ones not there were Wash, who was navigating a course, and Inara who was not interested. The rest of the crew sat on crates watching. Jayne began with an explanation "Knives ain't only for hand to hand defense" he mocked attacks on both his students, showing them the best places to strike. "Sometimes ya run out of ammo, sometimes you want a quieter attack, so's not to alert all of the enemy." He picked up one of the half dozen knives and expertly threw it at the target. It hit with a satisfying 'thunk' sound, planted in the chest area of the target. 

He spent the next 20 minutes showing both how to hold the knife, explaining how they should use their arms and wrist's to aim. He gave Kaylee the knives and pointed towards the target. Kaylee only hit the target four times, only one stuck, near the ankle. "I suck at this." she whined. Jayne retrieved the knives and handed her one, he stood behind her, placing his hand around her wrist thus controlling her throwing arm. "Let it go when I say." he instructed. They hit four out of six. Kaylee was encouraged by Jayne and the rest of the crew. 

Simon hit the target all six throws, only three stuck, one in the helmet area, one in the arm, one in the knee. His second set of throws were about the same. Jayne shrugged. "Guess practice is the best way ta learn. When ya kin hit the target every time, then we'll work on the aimin." He took a place with the rest of the crew on the crates watching Kaylee and Simon try over and over. 

An hour later they gave up, promising they would practice the next day. Mal jumped from his perch "Gotta give this a try" Zoe was right behind him. "My thoughts exactly sir." Soon Zoe, Mal and Jayne were deep in competition. River had joined them, keeping score and running to retrieve the knives after each one's turn. When they finished Zoe beat out Jayne by one point. 

"Beat you again Jayne. Don't you ever get tired of getting bested by me?" Zoe taunted. 

"Ain't surprised none, are ya Zoe?" Mal said smiling at Jayne's frown. 

"Not at all sir. Just stating facts." Zoe said, her own smile teasing. 

"You cheat!" Jayne stated. "Mal, since when is the groin a target? It's the heart or neck for death, hand or arm for disarmin, and leg for stoppin them from chasin ya." 

Zoe smirked "Knife in the groin stops most men from shooting or chasing in my experience." 

Mal added, "It'd stop me." 

Jayne grumbled as he gathered his knives, the rest of the crew had already left for the mess. River returned with a cool drink for Jayne. She found him sitting on a crate already sharpening the knives for next time. She handed him the drink and he thanked her. 

He added, "Target's real sturdy, like the way ya fixed it up." 

She smiled at him expectantly. "What?" Jayne asked. She looked at the knives, nodding at the target. 

Jayne understood. He quickly looked around to see that they were alone. "Okay, just one turn though. Don't want Mal or yer brother accusin me of corruptin ya." 

River jumped up and down excitedly, gathering the knives and standing five feet farther from where the others had thrown from. Jayne went over to her. "Over there," he pointed "you're too far away." 

River smiled sweetly at him, pointing to herself "Resident Genius, remember?" 

Jayne shook his head, standing to her side "sorry, forgot." He watched as she quickly glanced at the target. She closed her eyes, swiftly throwing the six knives one at a time. She opened her eyes seeing all six knives gathered near the heart of the target. She looked over at a stunned Jayne, who was looking back and forth between her and the target. He swore in Chinese. Finally looking at her in awe. He smiled nervously "Resident genius assassin, huh." he said softly. Neither noticed Mal at the entrance of the cargo bay, stunned expression on his face as he ducked out. 

It was late, River took Jayne's empty glass back to the mess, and making sure she cleaned it out thoroughly. She hoped she got the right dose, she hoped Jayne would go straight to bed, she hoped Simon would go to sleep instead of visiting Kaylee in the engine room as he sometimes did after putting her to bed. Everything was such a calculation, based on usual patterns of people with no need for structure at the moment. Her mind and heart raced, wondering if everything would go smoothly. 

Luckily for her, Simon had not gone to the engine room that night. He had gone to sleep nearly two hours ago. River listened carefully from her bed, waiting to be sure her light sleeper of a brother was truly asleep. She was completely awake, nervous energy charging her. She used her most stealthy moves to exit their rooms. 

She snuck towards Jayne's room, her ear cocked for any other late night roamers. Jayne always locked his bunk whether he was in it or not. That was not a problem. Her memory had recovered another previously untapped skill from the academy. There were few locks she couldn't breach... on Serenity, next to none. She had broken into Jayne's bunk twice before without anyone the wiser. She also knew that he slept deeply. He was the only one not disturbed by the ruckus the bounty hunter that terrorized the rest of the crew had caused. 

She had just assured that he would stay asleep when she entered his room by spiking his drink with her untaken sedatives. 

She got into Jayne's bunk with no problem. She knew the layout and went to his bed. Her heartbeat thumped loudly in her ears making it difficult to pick up the sound of his breathing. She waited for her eyes to adjust to the room, pale light from the corridor sifted through the slats on the hatch along with a soft light wand she had brought along helped. 

It looked like Jayne had fallen into a hard sleep. He was sprawled on his back in his small bed clad only in boxer's, the rest of his clothes strewn on the floor. She picked up his t-shirt as she kneeled by his bed. She inhaled his scent from the rumpled material watching his sleeping figure. Moment of truth, she held her breath as she poked him with a finger, testing his level of sleep. 

He didn't move, didn't change his breathing pattern. Her hand hovered over him, undecided on where to start. Her skin burned and she wondered fleetingly if the heat would disturb him. She couldn't stop now; the most she could hope for was restraining herself from crawling atop him. She needed contact with him. Wanted it to be mutual, rationally she knew she would have to gain his interest. She had started with getting him used to her presence, with food, she knew he looked forward to her rotation in the kitchen. She had impressed him with her prowess with weapons, that had been harder, since everyone including him was wary over her supposed expertise. The target and her private demonstration of her knife throwing accuracy had been a stroke of luck. 

She slowly lowered her hand, gently, till she had it flush with his shoulder. She took a moment to savor the tingle going through her. She moved her hand lightly down the center of his chest, marveling at the texture and firmness of his skin, the softness of his chest hair under her fingers. Her hand traveled down his firm stomach, tracing his navel, she dared not wander beneath the waist of his boxers. She brought her hand back up, stroking across a nipple repeatedly, watching as it puckered up, her own hardening in unison. She took her time petting, caressing his muscular arms and legs. An hour passed. She sat enthralled watching his boxers twitch as she stroked his thigh, fingers barely going underneath the fabric. She would check his expression for change, seeing none she increased the pressure in her fingers, barely scrapping her nails, higher and higher under the fabric. Her eyes transfixed on the growing bulge in the boxers. Her breath came in pants, her body throbbing in heat. The dampness between her thighs building a pressure deep within her. 

A small moan and the movement of his hand broke the trance she was under. She made her way back to the hatch, watching for any signs of awakening from Jayne. She didn't want to leave him, tears began to form, she didn't know if she would ever be able to come back, certainly not if she got caught. She grabbed the t-shirt knowing she could not explain having it, but not willing to leave it behind. 

She had just settled into her bed, shirt snuggled close to her beneath the cover when Simon opened the partition between their rooms. Her head popped up. Scared she had been heard coming in minutes before. Simon rubbed at his eyes. "River?" he yawned, seeing she was awake. "Did you leave the room?" She knew he had just woken up. "I was hungry, went for a snack, sorry I woke you" she explained. Simon looked confused. "Huh? Can't believe I didn't even hear you leave, hungry, this late? I'll have to write that in my notebook." "Good night, Simon" River said. Simon turned around closing the partition, "Night Mei-Mei". River sighed in relief, clutching her ill-gotten souvenir close to her, thinking about what she had done and when she could do it again. 

tbc 

#### If you enjoyed this story, please send feedback to deementedb


End file.
